I was walking her around the house as she held onto my fingers and it was one of those moments when you realize...
one day, this sweet girl, will run through the door from being out and about with friends, she'll change her clothes, grab her purse and car keys and run out again off to class or work or who knows what.
and in that moment, you are more than happy to half-bend-half-stand as she holds onto your fingers and practices going where she wants. My back started aching and I was thinking, 'This could go on forever' but we just kept right on going.
until....
I literally couldn't take it anymore and I made her stop and our beautiful moment ended in her biting my shoulder, cuz that's her new thing she's doing.
but that moment... which really was... a moment... was so sweet/sobering.
because Winslow is turning one in 10 days and the thought of my sweet beautiful newborn being suddenly ONE makes me want to smile/kick/scream/laugh/faint/throwup/givemyselfahighfive. I'm gonna trust in your hashtag reading skills to read that last one.
but seriously...
when I was a kid, it felt like time passed by me so sloooooooow....
Christmas was always lightyears away and it was always so sad when it was over because
I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER YEAR?!?!!
but then I had a baby.
and the clocks hands just started turning and turning....
and haven't stopped.
I remember when she started rolling over and I thought, "No way... you were just born!"
and now she gets mad and throws fits and I look at my mom and dad and apologize because I know I am just scraping the surface of this parenthood thing... and I get now why they would tell us, "I don't know what to do with you right now."
but I'm this sentimental little thing about a couple things in my life.
things & people I truly love.
and if I had my way, I wouldn't experience life at all but I would just sit in my corner and
R E M E M B E R.
but then if I didn't live, I'd have nothing to remember here in a little bit, would I?
So now here we are, Winslow's turning one and she'll be a big sister in about 5 months WHICH IS INSANE(LY EXCITING!) and then she'll head off to college on what feels like tomorrow.
But I've decided something....
I'm gonna stop complaining.
I'm gonna live my life in the moment. and enjoy TODAY. because it could be all I have! I don't want to miss out on anything.
and if I'm stuck in my hole always remembering, I am idolizing past experiences instead thanking God for my today and living it to the fullest.
I'm not gonna complain that I feel chubby or fat with this new baby on it's way.
When I complain about how I feel, I am being ungrateful for the life that is miraculously growing within me.
I'm not going to complain that the car's key fob isn't working or that the dog woke the baby up... or that the baby is awake waaaaay too early, or that the bathroom STILL isn't redone after a year of living here and the texture is falling off....because this stuff is junk. It doesn't matter. what it says when I whine and cry about that stuff is that I've lived way too privileged a life and am way too dependent on comfort.
So today, I'm thankful. for life in my womb, for a sweet (biting) almost one year old with gobs of hair and her daddy's smile, for a husband who tho he left this morning early, it was to spend time with Jesus because he believes in giving Him our first fruits of everyday, for an old perfectly imperfect home to live in, for a tight bank account that makes us use our thinkers, for clothes on our backs, for Garrett's amazing blessing of a job, for our crazy, fun, smart puppy who LOVES Winnie, for Mac-N-Cheese for dinner again (our fave!), for my clothesline and 7 clucking chickens... for family... for friends..
I've been given so much... and I'm not gonna dwell on the past, or wish for the time ahead, but I'm gonna love today.
I only have like 17 more years with her in my home...
I wanna spend it loving every day.
THIS was part of my T O D A Y.
