Saturday, March 9, 2013

heartbeat.

Hello.
I've been meaning to do this for a while, just haven't gotten around to it.
I really desire to be more of a faithful blogger... but you can only do so much when you are in your last semester of school, taking 18 hours.

LIFE.
I'm convinced it will NEVER slow down.
It goes like this:
5.9.11 - start dating future husband
and that was the starting line of this marathon I'm running.
22 months to the day later.... here we are.

this little Day is due September 1st.
this is him/her at week 10.

my 2012 was quite the year.
I started out as a girlfriend,
then became a fiance,
then a wife...
and only days before the year was up, I found out I was giving life.

phew.
what a season of blessing. but also a beautiful season of trusting THE GIVER of life.
and trusting is sometimes not easy, but if I know one thing about my God...
it's that He is FAITHFUL.

I am currently 15 weeks alongs.
5 weeks ago, I saw that baby up there and watched it wriggle around.
I can't explain to those who have never experienced that before...
how you can love a little being that you wouldn't even know was there had your doctor not shown you.
how you can hope so much for this life of one who is 2 1/2 inches long.
how you can begin to imagine and envision the plans God has to use this one for furthering the kingdom.

the feeling... can't be matched.
the best part is, I know that I've only scraped the surface of what motherhood is about.
I'm nervous, to be straight with you.
but I'm trusting God to teach me. teach me how to teach.
My prayers turn to asking for God to teach me.
but mostly, I pray for Little One's salvation. that God would call him/her to himself.
I beg him. I plead that He will be loved by this one that He's made.

God is so good. Life is so rich.
not that it's not challenging.
because I've been just a hormonal gem for my gracious husband to deal with.
because rent is going up next month.
because I don't feel good.
because school is stressful.
because I'm lonely sometimes.
because the future is one huge question mark.

but gosh... I have soooooo much HOPE.
I cannot wait to meet this little babe.
we will find out boy or girl in about 5 weeks. SO EXCITED!

God is good.
that's just it.
God is just the ONLY thing in this life that is good.
anything else that is, only is because of HIM.

my heart overflows.